I’m sharing a very personal post here which is completely out of my comfort zone. However, I felt like I needed to release this in hopes it will comfort someone who may be experiencing a similar situation…
As a lot of you may know, I am adopted. And last week I received a phone call that my biological mom had passed away and I immediately didn’t know how to process the news. For the next few days, I struggled with how I truly felt about the situation. I was frustrated and confused with myself because I didn’t know how to grieve. Unfortunately, there isn’t a guidebook on how to grieve for a parent you somewhat know. My loving husband would ask me how I was doing, and all I could say was, “I really don’t know…” I thought I would handle the news differently. I thought I would be stronger through this situation, but instead, I felt completely helpless and devastated. Two things of which I didn’t expect. I didn’t know the news would affect me the way it has. And honestly, I didn’t like how it was affecting me. All I knew, is that my heart was hurting, regardless of our history. Regardless of what people’s opinion were on how I should react, this was (and is) affecting me. That was the first stage of grief for me. Admitting that it had an impact on me.
I searched to God and asked Him to comfort me and I was lead to this verse;
“Daughter, take courage! Your faith has made you well. Go In peace.” (Matt 9:22)
After reading the first word “daughter”, I was immediately in tears. I paused and took comfort that I am the daughter of the living King. I belong to Him and He belongs to me.
“Daughter, Take courage!” I love the word ‘courage‘. It is the name of my blog. It is what I decided to name my own daughter. Courage is from the Lord, and it’s something I speak over my own life.
“Your faith has made you well. Go in peace.” I have faith that God will be faithful to our family as long as we live for Him. I have peace about what is to come for the next generation. As I raise my baby girl, I promise to love her unconditionally, for as long as I live. I promise to teach her about her worth in Jesus Christ and that she is ‘A Courageous Beauty’ who is fearfully and wonderfully made.
Though my biological mom gave me up, I have always thought how incredibly brave that was of her. That was such a selfless act because she wanted a better life for me and knew she wouldn’t be able to offer it to me. It’s dishearting to think where I would have been if she had not made that choice, and for that, I thank her for making that decision.