Josh will be sharing Bravely’s birth story from his point of view next week for Father’s Day. Here’s mine:
January 9th, my due date. My heart is aching, my body is tired, and my eyes are filled with tears because my baby girl isn’t here yet. Every night for the last two weeks, I’d sit in her room for hours, praying to God that tonight would be the night. I so desperately want to lay eyes on my little Bravely Belle.
That morning I went to my OB/GYN appointment and the midwife told me she wouldn’t be surprised if baby came that night. Music to my ears! I couldn’t believe that I just might meet my little baby girl in the next twenty-four hours.
Josh and I went for a walk around the mall the night of my due date to help induce labor. We wandered around for quite a while and we walked through all the baby stores. Seconds after we pass Pink and Brown, I had my first real (painful) contraction. It was 7:38pm. We tried to keep walking for a while but the contractions got worse, quickly. We left the mall immediately, and Josh drove straight to Chick-fil-a to get me a good meal, because we had been told that they won’t let you eat at the hospital after you’re there and in labor. I made sure to order a spicy chicken sandwich to help induce labor even more. I tried every wives tale in the book.
Josh and I went home, threw our hospital bags and car seat in the car, and we waited several hours as I bounced on my labor ball until the contractions were only 4-5 minutes apart. 2am, January 10th, and finally, we get the okay to go to the hospital. The next 13 hours are long and boring for both Josh and I as we wait for my water to break. But, nothing happens so the Doctor has to break it for me.
Thanks to the epidural, I was able to take naps, laugh, hold pleasant conversations, and read my InStyle Magazine. I didn’t feel one contraction after getting the epidural and I was very comfortable. All we can do now is wait.
Around 4 o’clock pm, I know we are close as I watch the nurses get everything prepared and I take this time to pray with Josh and sooth myself with a worship song. As I listened to the song, “You Make Me Brave” by Bethel Music, I can feel the Lord’s presence fill the hospital room, assuring me that it’s going to be okay.
4:20pm on January 10th, the midwife looked at me and said it is time to push. Forty minutes later, Josh and I laid eyes on a purple, bloody, breathless baby. Josh heard the midwife call for ICU and saw that the umbilical cord was wrapped not once, but twice around her neck. I suddenly hear a bunch of unfamiliar voices and looked up to see six other Doctors and nurses rush in to save Brave. The midwife slapped Bravely Belle on my chest as she tried to take her first breath and failed. A second later, she’s taken away.
We can’t see her, all the Doctors and nurses are surrounding her. A long minute later, we hear that wonderful, first cry and a nurse yelling, “she’s pink, she’s pink!!!” Finally, I get to hold my Bravely Belle and I have about a million emotions flowing through me. I knew I loved her the moment I first laid eyes on her, but the love that I had for her that day, is only an ounce compared to the amount of love I have for her today. Each day, my love grows deeper and stronger for her. Just when I think I can’t love her anymore, another day comes and my heart is taken again.
As strange as it may sound, I know the Lord was right there with me walking me through it. Pregnancy and labor has always been a great fear of mine. But I can honestly say it was the most peaceful time for me, with little pain, because God knew that he would take my biggest fear and turn it into the biggest blessing of my life. Like I mentioned in my previous blog post, ‘Behind your greatest fear might just be your greatest calling.’ And I feel privileged to have this calling in my life of being Bravely’s Mother.
Thanks so much for reading.